A trip to the supermarket. So joyful and stress free until – duh, duh, duh – you have kids. On the plus side, yesterday’s aisle three meltdown has inspired the latest entry in my much-loved If Toddlers Could Text series.
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*Channels inner Sir David Attenborough voice.* And so, as winter turns to spring, the parents of young children begin to emerge from their homes and stagger downhill to the nearest play park.
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My name is Father Hood and I have been playing golf with my toddler once a week for the past six-eight months. It’s an activity that I love for three reasons. First, we do some real dad-son bonding. Second, I tend to get some great material for my Instagram feed. Third, the deli sandwich Topgolf sells is DE-LIC-IOUS.
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Do you feel like you’re stuck in a parenting rut? That you seem to have run out of new things to do with your baby or toddler? That you’re bored of the old favourites, but keep going because, well, what else is there to do?
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Hello, parent friends. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a way of entertaining a tired and hungry toddler at the dinner table without spending any money, reaching for a sugary snack or powering up a screen. If not stimulated, this toddler will self-destruct in five seconds…
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Dressing a toddler is never easy. If they’re naked, they don’t want to put on any underwear. If they’re in pants, they don’t want to wear socks. If they have pants and socks on, they don’t want to wear trousers. And so on. And so on.
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I have no idea. I mean, if it’s not shoes or boots, it’s handbags. If it’s not handbags, it’s jackets. If it’s not jackets, it’s tops. And if it’s not tops… …wait a second, you’re talking about your kid’s ‘I Want’ phase rather than your wife’s, aren’t you?
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Oh no, we didn’t. Oh yes, we did. On December 12, much to the surprise of the cast, the crew and just about everyone else in the theatre, my wife and I took our toddler to the panto.
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Personally, I can tell you diddly squat about brushing a kid’s teeth. Happily, however, I know man who can tell you everything you need to know plus a little bit more. His name is Dr Mark Hughes. He is an award-winning dental surgeon. He is the founder and lead clinician at Harley Street Dental Studio. And when I met him at Read more
Remember my hilarious ‘If Babies Could Text’ series? Well, it has had a rebrand to reflect my son’s age and is now called ‘If Toddlers Could Text’ (see what I did there?). The first of the no doubt many toddler text messages I’m going to share with you is above. Enjoy.