Remember my hilarious ‘If Babies Could Text’ series? Well, it has had a rebrand to reflect my son’s age and is now called ‘If Toddlers Could Text’ (see what I did there?). The first of the no doubt many toddler text messages I’m going to share with you is above. Enjoy.
Ooh, I like this question. It’s relevant to all parents. It’s potentially controversial. And, best of all, there is a really obvious answer. Which is: lying to your children is 100%, completely and utterly, not okay. Job done. Question answered. Case closed. Post published. Pulitzer almost definitely in the post. Continue reading “Is it okay to lie to your children?”
Parents have a variety of goals. Some of these involve sleep, others revolve around toilet training and then there are the ones that concern entertaining toddlers without spending ANOTHER £6 on Continue reading “5 more games for entertaining toddlers”
If parenting is the gift that keeps giving, then potty training is the developmental stage that keeps testing. I say this, because after successfully teaching our son to orate his need to wee wee or poo poo in the toilet at home, my wife and I grabbed our little test subject, strapped him in the car and Continue reading “Potty training: tips for surviving stage two”
It has now been a little more than two weeks since my son embarked on his toilet training journey. And you know what they say: time flies when you spend every waking moment worrying about a tiny person emptying the contents of their bowels or bladder all over Continue reading “11 things I’ve learned during my first two weeks of toilet training”
Kids say the funniest things. Like “lellow” instead of yellow. “Footsie” instead of foot. “Helilopler” instead of helicopter. And “cheese” instead of Continue reading “11 hilarious baby conversations immortalised as text messages”
It has now been nine days since my son began his toilet training adventure. In this week and a bit, there have been highs (magnificently communicated and then implemented poo at the local airport), there have been lows (the state of cubicle my son had to attempt to do his business in at the Hollywood Bowl, East Finchley) and there have been a number of screams from mummy over the following two things. Continue reading “Dear Father Hood: toilet training – why does my son give himself erections and pee everywhere?”
Never mind whether your kid is ready for toilet training – are you ready for it? I ask, because the moment you begin toilet training is the moment you unleash an unforgiving world made up of urine, poo, stress, soiled sofas, bottom wiping and a complicated manoeuvre involving Continue reading “Dear Father Hood: is my kid ready for toilet training?”
Three times last night, four the night before. No, I’m not boasting about my sexual prowess, I’m talking about the amount of times my wife and I had to deal with our toddler falling off his new “big boy” bed (read: cot with one side taken off).
Continue reading “Dear Father Hood: how do you stop a toddler falling off the bed?”
Remember the pre-baby world when leaving the house was easy? I do. And I recall that it involved picking up my keys, opening the door and walking out with a smile on my face. Fast-forward two-and-a-bit years and getting over the doorstep is a military operation featuring numerous shoe changes, a couple of tantrums and much discussion about who has packed what in the baby bag. Continue reading “Dear Father Hood: what should we put in our baby bag?”
