Category Archives: Nursery Rhymes 2.0

Funny Christmas song: The 12 Days of Christmas – Toddler Style

‘Tis the season to write a funny Christmas song. So that’s exactly what I’ve done. My latest parody number is called The 12 Days of Christmas – Toddler Style, and it’s designed to be sung to the tune of, yup, you guessed it,  The 12 Days of Christmas. Well, don’t just sit there. Laugh, sing and share, or I’ll tell Santa to put you on his naughty list. 

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The Kid Who Dropped His Nap

Guess what, folks? My son has now reached the stage where he doesn’t need to nap every day. Negatively, this means I no longer have an hour a day to spend messing around on Twitter. Positively, it’s enabled me to come up with a song that fits with the tune of The Grand Old Duke Of York. It’s called The Kid Who Dropped His Nap and it’s published above. Enjoy. Share. Sing. Smile.

A lager, a cocktail – an ode to a dads’ night out

You know how the people who talk about sex the most are the ones who do it the least? It appears to be the same with drinking. Which is a long-winded way of me saying, “I’ve written about going on a dads’ night out again.” This time in the form of a nursery rhyme that’s sung to the tune of A Tisket, A Tasket. Enjoy. Laugh. Share. You know the drill.

New nursery rhyme: give the kid a phone

Oops, I did it again. I played with your heart, got lost in the game. No wait. That’s not what happened at all. In reality, I simply woke up this morning with another fantastic new nursery rhyme in my head. It’s about kids and phones, it’s designed to be sung to the tune of ‘This Old Man’ and it is printed above. Enjoy.

Poo Patrol – a funny song about the second stage of toilet training

PAW Patrol? That’s so last month. This month, my entire life revolves around the Poo Patrol. What’s that? You’ve never heard of the Poo Patrol? To quote Michael Jackson, you are not alone. Most people haven’t the foggiest who this stoic band of pant-saving parents are. But this lack of exposure ends right here and Read more

Pa Patrol – a celebratory song for Father’s Day and every day

With just three days to go until the day of the dad, the internet is packed with Father’s Day gift guides, Father’s Day think pieces and Father’s Day ‘how to craft a last-minute card out of a cereal box in case of emergency at 8am on Sunday morning’ articles. I, however, have decided to do something different. Read more

Tantrum throwing tyrant

Behold my brand spanking new parody song. This one is my take on the terrible twos and their tantrums to the tune of epic toddler favourite Dingle Dangle Scarecrow. Enjoy, laugh, share, you know the deal. P.S. I dare you to try and stop yourself singing “du-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu” after the second and fourth versus. You couldn’t do it, could you?

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