The day my son became the Fastest Kid in the World

Yesterday, my son became the Fastest Kid in the World. Some claim, I appreciate, but let me tell you a story.

Little a lot of modern tales, the little man’s journey from ordinary suburban four-year-old to the Fastest Kid in the World began with a YouTube highlights reel. ‘Best Sporting Moments of All Time’ lasted for around 24 minutes and contained a bunch of footballers, rugby players, boxers, tennis players and athletes doing remarkable things.

The fastest man in the world

One of the featured sportspeople was Jamaican sprint sensation Usain Bolt. The Bubster watched his runaway victory in the 2012 Olympic 100m final in disbelief, before gasping: “Who is he?”

“I’ll tell you who he is,” I replied. “He’s the fastest man in the history of the world. Oh, and he’s also someone daddy has beaten in a race.”

Stop laughing. Sure my dad bod has seen better days, but it’s true. I have beaten Usain Bolt in a race – and I have the YouTube link to prove it…

Racing the Fastest Dad in the World

Blimey, I think it’s safe to say no-one was expecting that. I know the Bubster wasn’t. After he’d picked his jaw off the floor, and asked many questions around my previous career and fashion choices, he completely ignored the fact Josh had finished first, declared me the Fastest Dad in the World and challenged me to a race.

Putting his fastest shoes on

Following a brief break to shower (me) and put our fastest shoes on (the Bubster), we reconvened on the patio. The rules of the big race were simple. The Bubster would say: “Ready, steady, go,” then we would run from the back door to the goalposts as fast as we could. Whoever crossed the goal line first would win the race and be considered the Fastest Dad or Kid in the World.

So, what happened next? What do you think happened? I’m 39 and he’s 4, so I showed him a clean pair of heels, rampaged into the back of the net and celebrated maniacally. Just kidding. I’m not a monster, so he won, obviously. And now, 24 hours on, we’ve all pretty much forgotten about it. Yeah, right. My son is actually walking around with his chest puffed out and a giant smile on his face, telling anyone and everyone that he is the Fastest Kid in the World.

Imagination and confidence

Is this true? I guess time will tell. For now, I’m just loving the imagination he displayed in coming up with the ‘Fastest Kid in the World’ title, the confidence he’s displaying in using it and the fact I didn’t rupture my Achilles tendon in the big race.

Until next time…

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