Help for new mums: should I go on my friend’s hen do?

Hello one and all. Did you know that in addition to offering my usual hints, tips and tricks for dads on here, I’ve also been providing help for new mums on the fantastic Mush app?*

Assisting new mums with their queries has been extremely uplifting and insightful, so I thought it would be worthwhile publishing the answers on here too. Enjoy.

My friend’s hen do is coming up and it involves an overnight stay. I do most of the childcare and am worried that my partner won’t be able to cope. Should I give him a chance or back out of the hen do?

To be honest, this situation shouldn’t be about you giving him a chance. It should be about your partner doing everything he can to convince you that he can cope and that you are an amazing mum who deserves the opportunity to put on a Team Bride T-shirt and let your hair down for an evening.

If this isn’t happening, then one of two things is occurring – either your partner is happy to play second fiddle in the childcare orchestra (and, as a result, is secretly hoping you’ll cancel), or you’re a control freak who won’t let anyone else take care of your pride and joy.

If it’s the former, then you need to do yourself a favour, overcome your concerns and head off on your hen do. This won’t be easy, but sticking to your plans and giving your man control for 36-48 hours should make situations like this far less stressful in the future, as it will make him appreciate how much more he can do to help, and you appreciate that he can cope without you being there 24/7/365. 

And if it’s the latter, then this is the perfect opportunity to let go a bit. By all means organise the plans, sort the food and generally micro manage your kid and partner’s whole weekend in advance. But make sure you go on the hen do, as it’ll give you a bit of perspective and your partner an opportunity to prove that he’s perfectly capable of stepping up to the plate in your absence.

P.S. This is important

Note: while I believe the above options are the best routes to go, when all is said and done everything depends on your anxiety levels. If you honestly think you’re going to spend the whole hen do fretting about what’s going on at home, then there’s probably little point in spending all that cash to be stressed, panicked and glued to your phone. Tell your friend EXACTLY how you feel and I’m sure she’ll understand.

P.P.S. About Mush

*If you know about Mush, you’ll be aware of the great stuff it does for new mums. If you don’t, here are the basics. Mush is the #1 social app for mums. It helps mums arrange meet ups with people who live nearby and have kids of a similar age – 2 million mum friendships and counting. Whoop! Whoop! And it provides mums with a platform where they can get advice from parenting experts, like sleep consultants, weaning experts and me going back to my agony uncle roots to offer help for new mums.

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