New mums’ questions answered: is it normal for new parents to argue?
Hello, readers. Did you know that in addition to providing my usual tips and advice for new dads on this site, I’ve also been answering new mums’ questions on the fantastic Mush app?*
Helping new mums with their queries has been extremely uplifting and insightful, so I thought it would be worthwhile publishing the answers on here too. Enjoy.
My partner and I argue more than we used to. Is this normal for new parents?
I hate to break it to you, but, yes, it’s totally normal. And, if you take a step back to think about this, obvious. I mean, before kids you and your partner were way less tired, way less reliant on each other and far more able to do what you wanted to do when you wanted to do it. Now, there’s a tiny human who gets in the way of your sleep, hobbies, down time, social life and eating schedule.
You’re knackered, you’re starving, you’ve lost the life you used to lead and… it’s all your partner’s fault. Okay, okay, so that last bit’s not true, but it can feel like it when your kid is smearing mush up the walls or screaming for 27 minutes straight at 3am. Which is why one partner slightly lose their temper, the other partner takes exception to what’s just been said and an argument ensues.
Repeat this 15-20 times a week and you pretty much have the average new parent experience. It’s not pleasant, but it’s also not anything to get overly concerned about unless… the arguments begin to get more and more heated, last longer and never seem to get resolved. If this happens, then it’s not a good sign and you should think about seriously discussing what’s going on or seeking help.
P.S. ABOUT MUSH
*If you know about Mush, you’ll be aware of the great stuff it does for new mums. If you don’t, here are the basics. Mush is the #1 social app for mums. It helps mums arrange meet ups with people who live nearby and have kids of a similar age (2 million mum friendships and counting). And it provides mums with a platform where they can get advice from parenting experts, like sleep consultants, weaning experts and me.