New mums’ questions answered: why’s my hubby so obsessed with seeing his mates?

Hello, readers and welcome to new mums’ questions answered. Did you know that in addition to providing my usual tips and advice for new dads on this site, I’ve also been fielding new mums’ questions on the fantastic Mush app?*

Helping new mums with their queries has been extremely uplifting and insightful, so I thought it would be worthwhile publishing the answers on here too. Enjoy.

My husband now seems to be even more obsessed with seeing his mates and watching the football than he was before our child was born – why is this?

Seeing his mates and watching football are your partner’s escape route back to the life he had before kids. Escape route?! Does this mean that he’s unhappy with your relationship or uninterested in your child?

Not at all. It simply means that, even though he wanted kids, feels an immense about of pride in your creation and has an incredible amount of love for you, your husband is not quite mentally ready to “go full dad” and say goodbye to the man he used to be.

The bad news is we men can become quite irrational and melodramatic during this phase (accusing you of stopping us from seeing our mates, buying an expensive TV package, deciding to dust off our boots and come out of retirement etc. etc.). The good news is it is just a phase, and the time pressures, realities and full-on nature of family life soon force us to scale our mate/football obsession back to healthy “dad” levels.

Which are… three nights out a week and five live football games in the pub on a Sunday. Just kidding. One meet-up a month and the odd big game tend to scratch the itch.


*If you know about Mush, you’ll be aware of the great stuff it does for new mums. If you don’t, here are the basics. Mush is the #1 social app for mums. It helps mums arrange meet ups with people who live nearby and have kids of a similar age (2 million mum friendships and counting). And it provides mums with a platform where they can get advice from parenting experts, like sleep consultants, weaning experts and me doing my new mums’ questions answered thing.

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