New mums’ questions answered: how can I get my partner to understand how tired I am?

Hello, readers. Did you know that in addition to providing my usual tips and advice for new dads on this site, I’ve also been answering new mums’ questions on the fantastic Mush app?*

Helping new mums with their queries has been extremely uplifting and insightful, so I thought it would be worthwhile publishing the answers on here too. Enjoy.

How can I get my partner to understand how tired I am?

Trust me, he understands. Really? If that’s the case, then why does he never acknowledge this or cut you some slack? Simple. It’s because he’s really tired and can’t understand why you never acknowledge this or cut him some slack.

In other words, you’re stuck in a “why can’t he/she see what I’m going through stalemate”. Your options for getting through this are as follows. You can indignantly say that you’re more tired than your partner, so they should be making the first move. Or you can be the bigger person, walk up to your partner and say something along the lines of:

“I know you’re shattered, I know you do loads and I really appreciate all your help, but here’s the thing. My days are long, my nights are interrupted and I deal with pretty much all the screaming fits. I’m absolutely knackered, so please, please give me some praise, take a little off my plate and tell me it’s all going to be okay.”

And if that doesn’t work? Then a dressing down from the mother-in-law should do it.


*If you know about Mush, you’ll be aware of the great stuff it does for new mums. If you don’t, here are the basics. Mush is the #1 social app for mums. It helps mums arrange meet ups with people who live nearby and have kids of a similar age (2 million mum friendships and counting). And it provides mums with a platform where they can get advice from parenting experts, like sleep consultants, weaning experts and me.

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