The Dad Test ft. Daddacool

Daddacool Dad Test

Sound the must-read feature klaxon! In a bid to assess the ‘dadliness’ of celebrity dads and popular dad bloggers, I’ve created a fun Q&A called the Dad Test. Stepping up to the plate in week 14: accountant, dad-of-three and the man The Sunday Times described as “Britain’s premier parent blogger”, Daddacool.

Daddacool tests his dadliness in Father Hood's Dad Test
Daddacool with his favourite bedtime reading

Q1. Have you ever messed up a nappy change?

“Oh, yes. Once I didn’t quite manage to get the nappy on before one of my kids did the most astonishing projectile poo. It crossed the room and hit the wall on the other side.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q2. Have you ever fallen asleep while attempting to get your kid to sleep?

“Many, many, many times. More often than not the kids wake me up with their favourite technique. Kung Fu Panda may have the Wuxi Finger Hold technique, but my kids have the Digging Your Toenails Into Daddy’s Crotch Technique and that wins.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q3. Can you do the Baby Shark dance?

“No, but I know the song from about 10 years ago, and, let me tell you, this new trendy Japanese Baby Shark schtick has nothing on the older version.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q4. Have you ever been injured in the line of dad duty?

“Dear goodness, where do I even begin with this one? I was donkey kicked in the crotch by one of my kids the DAY AFTER my vasectomy. At the Folk by the Oak music festival, one of my children sprinted 30 metres, leapt through the air and took me out with a flying karate kick to the back of my knee. My scream of surprise and pain attracted six bored men from the St John Ambulance, who arrived with a stretcher and oxygen. Finally, I once put up some camp beds which had a lot of tension in them. One of the poles slipped out and almost removed my left testicle. I screamed so much, all three kids were sobbing. But they weren’t sobbing as much as I was. It was airbeds all round after that one.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q5. Have you ever put off a DIY task for more than three months?

“Have I ever done a DIY task within three months? I’m currently 18 months into replacing the outside tap, which froze and cracked the winter before last, 15 months into renovating the parquet flooring and, whatever you do, don’t remind my wife about the summer house.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q6. Have you ever got stuck in the soft play?

“Put it this way, I’ve found a very quiet place I can crawl to and remain undisturbed.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Daddacool tests his dadliness in Father Hood's Dad Test
Daddacool’s crew look out over Dunstable Downs

Q7. Have you ever smelt poo and realised it was on you?

“Yes, on more than one occasion. I even found it dried onto my elbow once. The perils of wriggly children at nappy change time, eh?”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q8. Have you ever shouted “plane” in a public place only to turn around and realise that none of your kids are there?

“No, but I’ve shouted “YELLOW CAR”, which is our version of plane, quite a lot. I last did it when I was giving my boss a lift to a networking event. I don’t know whether to be offended that he didn’t comment.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q9. Describe your worst swimming pool incident

“Must I? I recall a couple of large poos floating past my face, but the worst was actually the screams, as a large house spider floated directly between me and one of the kids. It was huge.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q10. Without looking at the internet, what are the words to Wind the Bobbin Up?

“Wind the bobbin up, wind the bobbin up, pull pull, clap clap, pull. Wind it back again, wind it back again, pull pull, clap clap, pull? Whatever, it’s BOBBINS.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q11. Tell us your best dad joke.

“Look under there.
Under where?
Haha, I made you say underwear.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q12. Can you draw a dinosaur?

Daddacool's dinosaur
Daddacool’s cuddly dinosaur

Father Hood says: I’m not sure what I like more about Daddacool’s dinosaur – it’s cuddly little face, or the fact it has been painstakingly pieced together using Post-it Notes.
Dadliness rating: 1

Final ‘dadliness’ score

Some horrific dad injuries, a couple of grade-A poo stories and a lacklustre attitude to DIY, power hugely popular parent blogger Daddacool to an excellent 8 points in the Dad Test. Check out his website and follow his social media pages via the links below.

Website: daddacool.co.uk
Facebook: facebook.com/daddacool
Twitter: twitter.com/daddacool
Insta: instagram.com/daddacool

The Dad Test leaderboard

Dad’s Delicious Dinners 11
Matt Coyne – A.K.A Man vs Baby 11
The Mediocre Dad 10
Dad Blog UK 9
Daddy Poppins 9
The Outdoor Dad 9
Yule Times 9
Daddacool 8
Diary of the Dad 8
DIY Daddy 8
Four Seasons Dad 8
The Neu Dad 8
The Out Of Depth Dad 8
Headline Spews 7

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