Hands up if you like a dad joke. If your hand is still by your side, then I have no idea why you clicked an article titled ‘10 of the very best dad jokes’. But if it’s thrust skywards, then boy do I have a treat for you.
Just scroll down a few inches from this very line and you will find not one or two, but 10 of the very best dad jokes in existence. These side-splitting gags were gathered by myself during a painstaking, decade-long quest that saw me traverse oceans, scale mountains, battle super-villains and… …you’ve probably guessed that I am talking complete and utter tripe.
What I actually did was ask the greatest dad bloggers in the UK to send me their very best dad joke via email. And do you know what? Nine of them did just that. I then added my very best dad joke to the pile and, bish bash bosh, Bob’s your uncle, here we are at the top of a list of 10 of the very best dad jokes. Enjoy.
1. Father-Hood.co.uk’s very best dad joke
What was Whitney Houston’s favourite form of co-ordination?
Haaaaaaannnndddd-eeeyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee (will always love you)
2. Dad’s Delicious Dinners’ very best dad joke
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
3. The Outdoor Dad’s very best dad joke
What lights up a football stadium?
A football match
4. Man vs. Baby’s very best dad joke
I used to circumcise elephants at the zoo. The money wasn’t great, but the tips were enormous.
5. Four Seasons Dad’s very best dad joke
I went fishing with some corporate clients. I wasn’t catching anything, so I said to the guy: “Is this networking?” He replied, “Yes, it is.”
6. The Mediocre Dad’s very best dad joke
What’s the most common Owl in the world?
7. Daddy Poppins’ very best dad joke
What happened when the carrot died?
There was a huge turnip at his funeral
8. Headline Spews’ very best dad joke
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
9. Daddacool’s very best dad joke
Look under there
Haha, I made you say underwear!
10. The Neu Dad’s very best dad joke
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?
He was out standing in his field!
Laugh! Ha, I bet you nearly did.
Until next time…
*Father-Hood.co.uk is THE website for dads. It features dad advice, dad tips, dad jokes and more.