The Dad Test ft. The Out Of Depth Dad

The Out of Depth Dad takes the Dad Test.

Sound the must-read feature klaxon! In a bid to assess the ‘dadliness’ of celebrity dads and popular dad bloggers, I’ve created a fun Q&A called the Dad Test. Stepping up to the plate in week 11: writer, author, blogger, cyclist and father-of-two The Out Of Depth Dad.

The Out Of Depth Dad messing around with his son
The Out Of Depth Dad having fun with his son

Q1. Have you ever messed up a nappy change?

“It’s not possible to be a father and not mess up a nappy change at some point. I’ve regularly done the half asleep change where you realise the nappy is on backwards. I’ve also had a few messy experiences, one notable occasion ended up with poo up the wall. I still have flashbacks.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q2. Have you ever fallen asleep while attempting to get your kids to sleep?

“I’ve been close. It seems to me unnecessarily cruel that parents – the people who most need sleep on this planet – spend vast amounts of time negotiating with kids, trying to get them to sleep. It’s like someone, dying of thirst, pleading with a well refreshed person to have drink. Cruel.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q3. Have you ever been injured in the line of dad duty?

“My son once woke me up by sticking his finger up my nose. He was a little over eager, drew blood and caused a full nosebleed. That’s the glamour of parenting for you – one minute you’re asleep, the next you’re trying to calm a child, who is freaked out by the sight of the blood he’s made you bleed.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q4. Have you ever gone out/to work with milk stains on you?

“Yes, although, let’s be clear, I went out to work covered in stains before I had kids. These days at least having children is an excuse – of sorts.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q5. Have you ever parented with a hangover?

“Yes, I have. It was like waking up and realising you’re a Kardashian. Nothing made sense. Nobody seemed real. All I could hear was ‘I want! I want!’ No drink is good enough to make me want to do that again.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q6. Have you ever won a race on school sports day?

“God no. I don’t trust the type of dads who get so het up about that. If you’re taking a race against a group of men in Hush Puppies seriously, you really need to get out more.”
Dadliness rating: 0

The Out Of Depth Dad with a Hey Duggee cuddly toy
Hey Duggee, The Out Of Depth Dad is craving some sleep

Q7. Have you ever got stuck in a soft play?

“There is no way to be, in soft play, other than stuck. Even if you’re not physically stuck, under an inflatable or in the deep end of the ball pool, you’re mentally stuck. Soft play is God’s reminder to parents that things can always get worse. And yes, I have been stuck in soft play – but I don’t want to talk about it.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q8. Have you ever gone on a family holiday and forgotten something really important?

“Like the kids? No.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q9. Have you ever smelt poo and realised that it was on you?

“Yes. I regularly have ‘Poo Tinnitus’, and when this happens I am convinced I can smell poo everywhere I go. There’s nothing worse than smelling poo, thinking it’s the old fella in front of you in the supermarket queue, and then realising it’s actually coming from a smear on your hoodie. Lovely stuff.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q10. Without looking at the internet, what are the words to Wind the Bobbin Up?

“God knows. ‘Wind the bobbin up, wind the bobbin up, pull, pull, clap, clap, clap?’ TBH I tend to zone out when they sing this in the mother and baby groups (I hate that name). I’m usually planning an escape and wondering whether any other parents are wanting to spontaneously combust as well?”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q11. Tell us your best dad joke

“What cheese is made backwards? Edam.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q12. Can you draw a dinosaur?

The Out Of Depth Dad’s roaring dino

Father Hood says: Strong legs, good crayon control, an intimidating speech bubble and a well-placed website advert secure The Out Of Depth Dad an important point.
Dadliness rating: 1

Final ‘dadliness’ score

Nappy nightmares, poo tinnitus and a hellish hangover power popular dad blogger The Out Of Depth Dad to a solid 8 points in the Dad Test. His hilarious cycling book, The Modern MAMIL: How to Look Pro is out now. Buy it here*, then check out his website and follow his social media pages via the links below.

Website: Outofdepthdad.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/Outofdepthdad
Twitter: Twitter.com/Outofdepth_dad
Insta: Instagram.com/Outofdepthdad

The Dad Test leaderboard

Matt Coyne – A.K.A Man vs Baby 11
The Mediocre Dad 10
Dad Blog UK 9
Daddy Poppins 9
The Outdoor Dad 9
Yule Times 9
Diary of the Dad 8
DIY Daddy 8
Four Seasons Dad 8
The Neu Dad 8
The Out Of Depth Dad 8

*As an Amazon Associate, Father-Hood.co.uk earns from qualifying purchases.

Advertisements

3 comments

Leave a Reply