Father-Hood.co.uk

Sound the new feature klaxon! In a bid to assess the ‘dadliness’ of celebrity dads and popular dad bloggers, I’ve created a fun, new Q&A called the Dad Test. Stepping up to the plate in week six: award-winning blogger, magazine editor, mountain climber and wild swimmer, The Outdoor Dad.

Q1. Have you ever messed up a nappy change?

“I’m a very absent-minded nappy changer. One of the first ones I ever did ended with my baby son lying flat on his back, peeing into his own face while I daydreamed out of the window.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q2. Have you ever voluntarily chosen to watch a children’s cartoon when your kid isn’t there?

“If Cars 3 counts as a cartoon, then yes. I hate Jackson Storm so much I can’t resist watching him get smoked by Cruz Ramirez at the Florida 500. I also listen to the soundtrack alone in my car on the commute to work. Is that OK?”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q3. What’s your go-to dad outfit?

“Dirty shorts, dirty T-shirt, flip-flops. There is no point in wearing clean clothes when they’re just going to get covered in crap. And I’d rather clean beans off my own feet than a decent pair of trainers.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q4. Have you ever been injured in the line of dad duty?

“Not gravely, but I’ve been punched and kicked in the face many, many, many times, and taken plenty of footballs in the nuts.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q5. Have you ever gone on a family holiday and forgotten something really important?

“I once left my passport inside the suitcase that I checked in, which meant I couldn’t get through passport control. They had to delay the flight to locate my bag, rummage through it in the bowels of the plane to find my passport, and then bring it back to me. The rest of the passengers were delighted, obviously.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q6. Have you ever done something wrong and not told your other half?

“Come on… I’m not daft enough to get that answer published on a popular parenting blog!!!”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q7. What is your favourite kids’ snack?

“Sun-Maid raisins. I’ll happily do 10 boxes during a soft play session.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q8. Have you ever won a school sports day race?

“I’m glad you asked. In the summer of ’93, I won my primary school’s running race, three-legged race and skipping race, but was cruelly denied a glorious quadruple when Mrs Ambler disqualified me from the obstacle race (after I’d already won it) by judging that I’d held a rubber hoop in place on my head with my hand while running. It was total bullshit!”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q9. Have you ever smelt poo and realised that it was on you?

“Daily, and not just since we had a kid.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q10. Without looking at the internet, what are the words to Wind the Bobbin Up?

“I don’t think I even know the tune. But I can recite the entire Gruffalo book without looking at a single page, if that qualifies me for any points?”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q11. Tell us your best dad joke.

“What lights up a football stadium? A football match. (I thank you.)”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q12. Can you draw a dinosaur?

Father Hood says: I’m not sure why The Outdoor Dad’s T-Rex has had most of its toenails painted, but the choice of paper is uplifting and the arms and head are excellent. Thus I decree his effort worthy of a point.
Dadliness rating: 1

Final ‘dadliness’ score

A penchant for raisins, dislike for Jackson Storm and stupendously awful dad joke help the award-winning The Outdoor Dad to a sensational 9 points in the Dad Test. Check out his website and follow his social media pages via the links below.

Website: theoutdoordad.co.uk
Facebook: facebook.com/outdoordaduk
Twitter: twitter.com/the_outdoordad
Insta: instagram.com/the_outdoordad

The Dad Test leaderboard

Matt Coyne – A.K.A Man vs Baby 11
Daddy Poppins 9
The Outdoor Dad 9
Diary of the Dad 8
DIY Daddy 8
Four Seasons Dad 8