The Dad Test Ft. Daddy Poppins

Sound the new feature klaxon! In a bid to assess the ‘dadliness’ of celebrity dads and popular dad bloggers, I’ve created a fun, new Q&A called The Dad Test. Stepping up to the plate this week: the very funny, and multi award-winning, blogger Daddy Poppins.

Daddy Poppins’ face when he heard Q6

Q1. Have you ever messed up a nappy change?

“Nope! I’m the nappy master! Twisted nappy master. Seriously, it’s actually my forte – I can change a sleeping child without waking them. I wish I’d known in advance that having this super skill would lead to me changing every bloody nappy, though.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q2. Have you ever gone to work/out with milk stains on your clothes?

“Not to work, as I used to be very careful with my suits (straight off as soon as I got in the door). But I did go on one of my first post-baby nights out with the missus and someone said: ‘You’ve baby milk on the shoulder of your hoodie.’ So, I removed it to find my T-shirt was exactly the same. It’s an affliction!!”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q3. Have you ever fallen asleep while attempting to get your kid to sleep?

“Hell, yes. Who hasn’t? On the flip side, it usually means that your kid has also dropped off to sleep and, considering my nocturnal beasts, I’m taking that as a win!”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q4. What’s your go-to dad outfit?

“Summer: cargo shorts, a T-shirt, runners. Autumn: add a hoodie. Depths of winter: maybe jeans. Spring: see summer.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q5. Have you ever been injured in the line of dad duty?

“Nothing hospital worthy, but I’ve had a few ‘child from the top ropes into my nuts’ incidents.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q6. Have you ever done something wrong and not told your other half?

“Do we have attorney-client privilege in this piece? No? Daily. Next.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Daddy Poppins and daughter ‘the Boo’

Q7. Have you ever gone on holiday and forgotten something really important?

“Every time, it’s a rite of passage. My rule is: as long as you have the passports, tickets, wallet and kids, then everything else can be purchased if left at home. I once forgot the boarding time of our flight.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q8. Have you ever got stuck in a soft play?

“Not yet, but I generally make sure I bring my best ‘slide pants’ on soft play days. Not only do they make me faster than my kids on the big slide (did I mention, I’m competitive?), they also make me like Teflon in tight situations.”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q9. Have you ever smelt poo and realised it was on you?

“No, thank god. But I no longer find it weird to walk around a room smelling cushions, seats and people’s asses to try distinguish where smells are coming from. Let me be clear at this point that these people are my kids. It’s still goddamn weird when you think about it, though.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q10. Without looking at the internet, what are the words to Wind the Bobbin Up?

“Wind the bobbin up. Wind the bobbin up. Something something something something. Wind the bobbin up. Wind the bobbin up. Something something something something. (And so on… …and so forth).”
Dadliness rating: 0

Q11. Tell us your best dad joke

“What happened when the carrot died? There was a huge turnip at his funeral.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Q.12 Can you draw a dinosaur?

Meet ‘Bob’ the stegosaurus

“Please find ‘Bob’ above. I went with a stegosaurus because they’re easier to draw and you’re going to be inundated with T- Rexes.”
Dadliness rating: 1

Final ‘dadliness’ score

A great joke, an incredible dinosaur drawing and some serious nappy skills help the legendary Daddy Poppins to rack up an impressive 9 points in The Dad Test. Check out his website and follow his social media pages via the links below.

Website: Daddypoppins.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/daddypoppins 
Twitter: Twitter.com/daddypoppinsblg 
InstaInstagram.com/daddypoppinsireland (note: Daddy P can’t access Insta at present and is trying to speak to a human about his issue. If you know someone who works there, please get them to contact him)

Next week: it’s Diary of the Dad’s turn to tackle The Dad Test.

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