He’s the hero next door: a strong, athletic and selfless firefighter who can ski, swim, score goals and make toffee apples. So why is Fireman Sam single?
Naughty children, sheep, hapless plumbers, buses, whales, cats, horses, you name it, Fireman Sam can rescue it, but this ability to save people, animals and vehicles is just one of the ginger-haired hero’s claims to fame. He is also a champion apple bobber, who can snowboard like a pro, skateboard better than Tony Hawk, cook, act, sing and sail.
Add in his athletic body and it’s difficult to imagine anyone swiping left on his Tinder profile. Yet, here we are. After 11 series and around 200 episodes, Pontypandy’s finest is still not in relationship. Which brings me back to the question that has been rampaging around my head since 6:23am. Why oh why is Fireman Sam single?
After much contemplation, I’ve come up with the following five theories…
1. He’s married to the job
If I was ever lucky enough to score a date with children’s TV’s most eligible bachelor, I’m almost certain that he would cancel due to some kind of work emergency.
I say this, because in the five or six series I’ve watched over and over and over again, I’ve only ever seen him take one day off. And do you know how he spent it? He bought a 12-pack, got absolutely plastered and skinny dipped in the Pontypandy Lido. Only joking. He stopped Mike Flood falling off a roof, rescued Norman from some quick-drying cement, put out a fire in Dilys’ shop and stopped Trevor’s runaway bus.
But, but, what if he didn’t cancel our date? Well, given the fact I’ve never heard him make small talk and have only seen him out of uniform once (when he was babysitting an ill James, wore a checked shirt and got surprisingly angry about not being able to complete a buzz wire/steady hand game), I can only presume that he’d turn up in his firefighter uniform, tell me he was a firefighter and talk about firefighting until I asked for the bill.
2. He doesn’t have a lot of options
Pontypandy isn’t exactly stacked with single ladies. In fact, I can only think of five.
- There’s Penny (pictured, above), but I’m pretty sure she only has eyes for Ben. Plus, I have no reason to believe that Sam would be comfortable mixing business with pleasure.
- I know that he has been linked to Dilys (more on that later), but there’s no way Sam would go behind Trevor’s back.
- There’s Mrs Chen, but a) she could have a husband who we never see and b) she’s really intense and I just can’t picture Sam finding love with someone who was really intense.
- There’s Bella Lasagne, but she may have been written out and Sam’s ego would not accept being the second-best cook in a relationship.
- And there’s Ellie Phillips, although I think she is looking for someone with a bit more edge. And, again, it’s tough to imagine Sam viewing cuddling up to a colleague as anything other than unprofessional.
3. He’s got some fierce competition
I know it’s easy to get star struck by the fact Fireman Sam has his own TV show and gets the main role in every single production that ever gets put on in Pontypandy. But if you take a step back and study the rest of the population you soon realise that the coastal village is awash with prime single beef. Like? Like helicopter-flying Aussie hunk Tom Thomas (pictured, above), rugged Canadian mountain climber Moose Roberts and dashing English coastguard Ben Hooper. Would any of these characters be more fun to date than Sam? It pains me to say it, but, yes, probably all three.
4. He’s been burned by love before
This entry takes its inspiration from the oft-aired theory that Fireman Sam is Norman Price’s father. I’m not sure I buy into this, but, if I did, then it would be easy to create a sub-theory, which asserts that a young Fireman Sam’s heart was broken so badly by his tempestuous, Norman-producing relationship with Dilys that he believes it is impossible to love again. No, you stop it. You’re crying.
5. He’s seen what a relationship can lead to
As kids, Fireman Sam and his brother Charlie were like two peas in a pod. The best buddies sailed the seas, climbed hills, explored Pontypandy Island and generally lived their best life. Then Charlie fell in love with Bronwyn Griffiths and the siblings’ relationship began to change.
Sure, they still had the odd adventure that reminded Sam of their youth, but Charlie also had to “go shopping for curtains” and “save for the deposit Bronwyn and he needed to buy their dream fish cafe”. Then the twins (pictured, above) came along and Charlie had to completely abandon his extra-curricular activities in favour of fishing all day and parenting all night. Does Sam respect Charlie for this? Yes, of course he does. Does he want to follow in his footsteps? No, he does not.
Now, it’s your turn
So, there you have it. Those are my five theories around why Fireman Sam is single. But what are yours? If you have any at all, or just want to say something about the show, please let me know by commenting below.
Until next time…