Parenting satire: mum, dad and toddler arrive on time for social event

A mum, dad and toddler have become the talk of the parenting community after footage emerged of them arriving on time for a brunch with friends. The incident, which is believed to have taken place last Saturday morning, is currently the top story in five different parenting chat rooms, with some users crying “witchcraft” and others putting it down to a time-based mistake.

“I bet they read the WhatsApps wrong and thought the table was booked for 30 minutes earlier than it actually was,” wrote Debs38, before BabyWipesFTW commented: “LOL. They clearly forgot to put their clocks back.”

The background

After contacting the couple in the video, Father-Hood has discovered that the mum, dad and toddler were legitimately on time, but other parents have no need to be concerned, as it was very much a one-off.

“I get why other mums and dads are baffled by the incident, because we are too,” admitted dad-of-one Simon Betson. “Our daughter turns three in February and this was the first time we have been on time for anything since the day she was born.”

Simon’s wife Pamela then took us through the day of the incident.

A normal morning

“The morning began as normal,” she revealed. “Our daughter woke at 7.30am and I took her downstairs for breakfast, where she demanded to eat my cereal from my bowl with my spoon, while drinking my water from my glass. Twenty minutes later, she had spilled a lot of stuff on the floor, but eaten very little, so I shoved as many spoons in her mouth as I could while she watching Noddy.

“After helping her go to the toilet, we went upstairs and I wrestled her out of her pyjamas and into the shower. Satisfied that she was happy, safe and contained, I went to our bedroom and sorted the washing out. I then returned to the bathroom to find that she had poured the contents of every shampoo and shower gel bottle she could get her hands on down the drain.”

It was a classic toddler move and so was the one that followed.

“When Simon went to get her out of the shower, she insisted that she wanted to be dried with his towel rather than her own and that she wanted to pick her own party clothes instead of wearing the ones we’d gone to the trouble of selecting the night before,” continued Pamela.

A shock twist

When the clothes tantrum lasted a good 20 minutes, the mum, dad and toddler looked odds-on to be the standard 15-30 minutes late for the 11am gathering. Then several remarkable things happened.

“First, our daughter got her shoes on the correct feet at the first time of asking,” said Simon. “Second, we managed to get her in her car seat without a fight. Third, Pamela and I agreed on the best route to take to the venue. Fourth, we didn’t get stuck behind someone going 20mph. And fifth, we found a parking space very near the brunch spot. Add all this up and it meant we arrived at exactly 11am.”

What are the odds?

According to the Society of Parental Timekeeping, the odds of a mum, dad and toddler arriving on time for a social event that isn’t another child’s birthday party are approximately 3,000,000,000-1, meaning that the next incident should occur sometime in 2026.

“It feels amazing to do something so rare, but I am not sure that I’d recommend being on time,” revealed Pamela. “I say this, because we were meeting a bunch of people who also have kids, and none of them got there before 11.25am.”

 

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