Parenting satire: sleep deprived couple have reasoned, logical and successful 3am argument

A British mum and dad have made history by conducting a reasoned, logical and successful argument in the aftermath of their baby waking them up in the early hours of the morning.

The incident, which is destined to give hope to sleep deprived couples around the globe, took place at around 3am last Tuesday morning.

A parenting first

“It was definitely a first in our time as parents,” admits Trevor Johnson. “One minute, we were attempting to get our daughter to sleep for the fourth time that evening. The next, we were entering into an in-depth discussion about the night-time routine and the steps we could implement to make it better.”

As most sleep deprived couples know, this tends to be when the fireworks start. But, on this occasion, the Johnsons’ shattered brains managed to resist the temptation to hurl increasingly irrational insults at each other.

“It was incredible,” recalls Trevor. “Instead of savagely bringing up everything that annoys us about the other person’s approach to parenting, relationships, work and life, we calmly and logically discussed the issues at hand and how they could be best addressed.”

A satisfactory ending

Stranger still, the Johnsons’ impromptu early morning debate was over quickly and concluded with a hug.

“The whole thing lasted no more than five minutes,” reveals Trevor’s wife, Tina. “In that time, we decided that the way forward was to try out a new, slightly brighter night light, to increase the amount of milk we give our daughter before bedtime, and to always check whether her nappy needs to be changed rather than automatically whipping the old one off every time she wakes up.”

The Johnsons’ secrets revealed

The Johnsons went on to provide some advice for sleep deprived couples looking to follow in their footsteps.

“Looking back at the night in question, I guess I took a second to think about what I was going to say rather than needlessly orating the first thing that came into my tired brain,” recalls Trevor, while Tina reveals: “I tried to focus on Trevor being the man I love rather than the dad who manages to wake his daughter up every time he goes to the toilet.”


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