Parenting satire: toddler uses tennis racquet to play tennis

A two-year-old has shocked onlookers by using his tennis racquet to hit a tennis ball. The Scottish toddler, who may or may not be related to Andy Murray, is believed to have hit the shot at a health and fitness club in his home town at around 3.45pm last Wednesday.

“I couldn’t believe it,” revealed a startled onlooker. “The little boy picked up his racquet with one hand, grabbed a ball with the other, bounced the ball and then hit it towards his mum and dad with the bare minimum of fuss. I’ve got three children and eight grandchildren and I’ve never seen anything like it in all my life.”

Our survey says

When contacted about the incident, the Trans Global Tennis Association (TGTA) stated that it was indeed out of the ordinary for a child this young to use a tennis racquet for its intended purpose.

“Our research suggests that hitting the ball is the eighth most likely thing a toddler will do with their tennis racquet,” said TGTA spokesperson Archie Double-Fault. “Hitting daddy or mummy in the shins comes in first. This is followed closely by throwing it across the room. Hammering it into the wall comes third. Assaulting a sibling is fourth. Attempting to eat the handle takes fifth place. Jumping on it like a trampoline is sixth. Biting the frame is seventh. And then comes actually hitting a tennis shot.

“Given this, it’s fair to say that this kid could be a prodigious talent.”

The next Federer?

For their part, the boy’s parents laughed off suggestions that their son could be the next big thing in tennis. “Right now, I’m far more interested in potty training than tennis training,” revealed the boy’s father. “How a kid can always find the line with a running cross-court backhand, but never find the pan with a stationary post-lunch pee pee is beyond me.”









    • Ha. Not even I am silly enough to give my son a baseball bat. Although, thinking about it, the result might make for a good YouTube video…

  1. […] I’ll start with the good news. The lessons section of this plan has gone extremely well from the off, with my little man displaying some great hand-eye coordination and progressing his groundstrokes rapidly. Now, for the bad news. The section where he and I hit the court got off to a rockier start. Some days, he concentrated well and produced a plethora of great shots; others, he spent most of the time rolling about the floor or hitting me with his racquet. […]

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