Parenting satire: couple sells house to pay for the family summer holiday

A British couple have taken the extraordinary step of selling their house to pay for their next family summer holiday. John and Jane Jamieson decided to put their three-bedroom semi-detached property on the market after researching the cost of a two-week break in Majorca during next year’s school summer holidays.

“Initially, we looked at the figures and thought we might be able to get some sun and keep the house,” revealed John. “But then Jane realised that the prices we had been quoted didn’t include any baggage or meals and were for one person rather than our full a family of five.”

A 500% increase

The Hertfordshire native swiftly phoned the holiday company who had provided the lowest offer to see if there was anything further they could do for him.

“I told the lady that we’d be happy to stay in a cheap hotel and fly on a budget airline and she replied that the quoted price was based on us staying in a cheap hotel and flying on a budget airline,” he said. “She said she was really sorry, but there was nothing she could do, because it was ‘school holidays, innit’.”

Travel industry expert Sonny Beech described the Jamieson’s family summer holiday issue as a common problem.

“Airlines, hotels and holiday companies know when the summer holidays are and raise their prices accordingly,” he stated. “English families sometimes manage to save a bit of cash by flying from Scottish airports after the Scottish schools are back from the summer holidays, and Scottish families sometimes do the same by flying from English airports before English schools break for the summer, but in general the only deal is there are no deals. The same holiday that costs young, carefree couples less than £200 per person in May, June, September and October costs families with school aged children well over £1,000 per person in July and August.”

Brexit apocalypse

When asked if Brexit might provide some much needed relief for holidaying families, Mr Beech laughed so hard some snot emerged from his left nostril.

“When it comes to holiday prices and Brexit, I like to quote Yazz and the Plastic Population,” he shrugged. “The only way is up.”




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