11 hilarious baby conversations immortalised as text messages

Kids say the funniest things. Like “lellow” instead of yellow. “Footsie” instead of foot. “Helilopler” instead of helicopter. And “cheese” instead of I love you, daddy.

But while rib-tickling, these minor mispronunciations are not what this week’s Father-Hood.co.uk Midweek List is all about. Oh no. This feature delves far deeper into the world of the talkative toddler to reveal the hilarious baby conversations that make all parents laugh. Or cry. Or query what they can possibly do to wriggle out of the never-ending cycle of questions they appear to have found themselves in (pro tip used in the example at the top of this article: point and shout “look, horsey”).

Wow, sounds like a great idea for an article, but what creative mechanism are you going to use to get the conversations across? Impressive question. First, I considered wearing a wire, initiating a chat with my son and then editing the audio file to present his hilarious baby conversations in his voice. Then I realised that typing “website that lets you create and then download a fake iPhone text message” into a search engine was a much quicker and easier plan.

So that’s what I did and the below list is what came of it.

Well, what are you waiting for? Scroll down, read my 11 hilarious baby conversations immortalised as text messages, nod, laugh, smile, tick off how many you’ve experienced first hand and then rise from your seat, raise your voices and tell your wives, husbands, parents, friends, neighbours, colleagues and enemies a) how funny this article is and b) how amazing I am.


No.1: Mummy/Daddy

No.2: Cheese

No.3: Where’s that?

No.4: Nursery

No.5: Walk/Daddy Up


No.6: Swimming

No.7: Toilet training

No.8: I’ll do it

No.9: The 3am wake up

No.10: Sofa jump ft. Ouchie

No.11: Water


Until next time…


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