Time for our pretwoeymoon

It’s all been a bit quiet on Father-Hood.co.uk lately. This is partly because I’ve suddenly had loads of real work to do – cash, cash, whoop, whoop, can pay the mortgage, can pay the mortgage – and partly because my wife and I have been prepping for our pretwoeymoon family holiday to Dubai.What are you talking about? Of course a pretwoeymoon is a thing. Okay, so it’s not. It’s just a word and premise that I’ve made up. But I reckon the concept stands up to scrutiny, so here’s everything you need to know about my latest invention.

What’s a pretwoeymoon?

A pretwoeymoon is a holiday parents book for themselves and their first child, just before said child turns two.

Why does it have to be booked then?

It has to be booked then, because the moment your kid turns two is the moment your holidays become far more expensive and significantly less luxurious, as you have to start paying for their flight tickets and accommodation. Caravan in Luton next summer, anyone?

Ooh, now I get it, where are you off to?

We’re going to Dubai, which sounds extravagant until you look into the cost of flying two adults and a one-year-old from London to Scotland during the Christmas period. Dear Lord, over £1,000 to fly to Glasgow and back – are you out of your tiny minds’ British Airways?

But back to Dubai. Yes, it’s more expensive that Majorca, but having been there at this time last year, I can exclusively reveal that the weather is great, the hotels are perfectly set-up for families (lots of food options, beaches, swimming pools, big rooms) and the staff are absolutely wonderful with kids (playing games, giving high-fives, entertaining them so you can eat, etc. etc).

Any other things I want to mention?

Not really, so I’ll use up the rest of my word count flagging some of the genre-defining parenting blogs I’ve previously written about going on holiday, reminding you of the unfortunate incident that took place last time my wife and I took our baby to Dubai and asking if anyone has seen my passport? We fly in six hours and I have absolutely no idea where it is! Parenting life, huh?


Leave a Reply