Hello mummies, hello daddies, how are you today? Okay, now we’ve got the pleasantries over and done with, I’m going to get straight to the point. Which is: I’ve written another 100% brilliant and totally new nursery rhyme. This one can be crooned to the tune of the ‘Hokey Cokey’ and it’s inspired by our continuing struggle to get our son to sleep through the night.
Ooh, have you tried sleep training? Yes, we have, thanks. It was successful for about a week and then he got ill, I snapped my Achilles’ tendon and his routine went out the window.
Ooh, didn’t you try to re-introduce sleep training once he was better? Yes, we did, thanks. Unfortunately, our son saw what we were up to and raised the stakes. Which is a nice way of saying he vomited all over his cot on more than one occasion.
Welcome to our nightmare
Ooh, have you tried to change his evening routine? Yes, we have, thanks. Bubble baths, music and massage, reading time to daddy, milk before bath, milk after bath, no milk, more milk, cold milk, run him around the house to tire him out, put him to bed later, or earlier, or even later, or even earlier, we’ve tried them all and none of them work.
Ooh, that must be a bit a nightmare? Yes, it is, thanks. But we’re well aware that other parents have things far worse and our son more than makes up for his actions by being absolutely brilliant during the day. Plus, there is the odd upside, like it giving me the time I need to conjure up the ace new nursery rhyme you see above.
Read it, re-read it and then sing it to your kid when he or she next wakes up in the middle of the night. I can’t guarantee that it will work*, but I guarantee it will make you feel better. Until next time…
*If you are looking for one that does work. Try Cheeky Nando’s – my son regularly falls asleep while I’m singing it.