My average day as a parent

 

Hello all. I’ve got 14 minutes until I need to pick my son up from nursery, so I’ll make this quick. Today, partly, because I’m bored, partly because my mind works in mysterious ways, and partly because I thought it would be funny and interesting, I have put together a pie chart of my average day as a parent.

The result is pictured above, and I have to say I’m pretty happy with it for the following reasons:

  1. I reckon that I’ve managed to tread the fine line between acknowledging the difficult sides of parenting and acting like it is the worst thing to happen to me in the history of my life ever.
  2. I got through the whole pie chart without swearing.
  3. There are a couple of decent gags in there.
  4. It paints a really good picture of my life as a parent, who is trying to both raise a child and keep his business afloat.
  5. It sums up how little interest my child has in the process of sleeping.
  6. The whole thing adds up to 100. Actually, scratch that. I’ve lost 0.5% somewhere, so it only makes 99.5%. D’oh.

What do I want you to take from this? I’m not sure. Maybe you could feel a little sorry for me, find my address on the internet and send me lots and lots of care packages that include foot bandages, hot food and sleeping pills? Perhaps you could laugh a couple of times, decide I’m the internet’s greatest new talent and share my page with all your family, friends, work acquaintances and enemies? Or, you know, just study it, realise that your average day as a parent isn’t that bad and that every other mum and dad is experiencing similar things.

Now, I must go. It’s pick-up time. Then I need to stand on some Lego and hide in the toilet for 20 minutes before attempting to feed my son dinner and then trying to rock him to sleep. The fun literally never stops. Until next time.

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