Parenting satire: toddler and grandparents successfully complete video call


A British couple have contacted Guinness World Records after witnessing their toddler and his grandparents carry out a five-minute video call in one, hitch-free session.

The successful communication, which is believed to be an intergenerational first, began around 6.45pm on Sunday evening, when Michael and Sarah Jacobs suggested their son Jamie “FaceTimed granny and glumps”.

“Previously, these kind of video calls have been a car crash of indecipherable grunts, unanswered questions and peek-a-boo fails,” admits Michael. “But it was 25 minutes before bathtime, we were knackered and our toddler Jamie was beginning to kick off, so we figured we would take the easy option and beam the grandparents in.”

“Michael’s phone was low on battery, so we used mine,” continues Sarah. “I sat Jamie on the sofa, guided him to my mum’s mobile number and then got him to press the FaceTime symbol. We expected him to be greeted by a section of knee or an upside-down shot of some wallpaper, but much to our surprise mum had the camera the right way round and pointing in the correct direction.”

And the shocks didn’t end there. Not only did young Jamie refrain from prodding his granny’s face in a manner that muted the sound or hung up the phone, he also listened to her questions and responded with the correct animals noises and hand actions.

It was a stunning start to the call, but Michael and Sarah did not believe the quality of communication could last. “We presumed things would come unstuck during the transition to glumps, with either Jamie bursting into tears for his granny, or my dad treating us to a close-up of his nostril hair,” reveals Sarah.

Neither happened, however, and thus the 30-something couple were forced to sit through two more minutes of completely comprehensible conversation before the pleasant and attentive goodbyes.

Guinness World Records has yet to comment on the call, which the Jacobs believe to be a “one-off freak” rather than a sign of their son’s increasing maturity.

“It’d be nice if Jamie’s achievement was recognised, but he still cries when mummy goes to the toilet and won’t leave the house without his toy giraffe, so we’re not filling in the university applications just yet,” concludes Michael.




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