Is your left leg swollen or are you just pleased to see me?
Morning campers! I am always pleased to see you, but unfortunately on this occasion I am going to have to choose option A (aka the swollen leg). So why on earth has my left leg puffed up to around double the size of its right buddy? Well, it’s a not particularly funny story that begins all the way back on 9 February.
On this fateful winter’s evening, I embarked on a mythical journey that opened my eyes to the ways of the world and took me to within an inch on my life. Not really. I actually went to my local tennis club and played a match against a 50-something Welsh man who liked rugby. We were on court 1 at 7pm and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. He served, I returned. Out. 15-0. He served into the net. And then he did it again. 15-15. I could go on, but imagine you are all losing the will to live. Thus I’ll skip to point six, where he served, I returned and KABOOM! It felt like a section of the roof had come down on my left calf. Fortunately, it hadn’t. Unfortunately, I’d ruptured my Achilles’ tendon.
As a result of this, I had to wear one of those big protective boots for three months. And as a result of this inactivity, I developed not one, but two blood clots in my left leg (one in the top of my calf and one in my groin, fact fans). Wowsers. That sucks. It really does. Happily, I’m now on a course of blood thinners that should solve the problem and get me back to half-fitness before you can say, “I’m really missing Father Hood’s wry sense of humour. I wonder why he’s not been posting as regularly over the last few weeks?”
Has anyone ever said the above collection of words? Who knows? But given the significant drop in my output, I felt it was worth getting in touch to assure you all that I am okay and still have some big plans for this blog. Ooh, like what? Well, I think there could be a lot of legs in my new and extremely LOL-tastic “If babies could text…” feature, I’ve got loads more advice to dish out and I’m also working on a new site design that I intend to unleash at some point over the next couple of months.
Excited? My wife isn’t – because I’m supposed to be looking for a new job, getting a builder to do up our garden and finding a cheap winter holiday – but you should be. So add me to your bookmarks, follow me on Facebook, titter at my Twitter, go insane over my Instagram, do the Hokey Cokey and turn around. Why the Hokey Cokey? Because this blog’s what it’s all about – hoy! Now, back to the job hunt/moaning about my swollen leg…