Dear Father Hood: is it okay to eat baby’s food?

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To answer this properly I really need a bit of context. In other words, why on earth are you posing this question?

If you’re asking because you’ve grown to like the taste and fancy incorporating some of the yummiest pots into your daily diet, then the answer is yes, although please be prepared for a) some weird looks in the work canteen and b) bankruptcy, as it’s going to take a lot of those little jars to satisfy an adult’s appetite.

If you’re asking because your baby keeps leaving his or hers, then the answer is also yes. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold, fluorescent green or potentially regurgitated. The laws of parenthood dictate that every single spoonful must be deposited down someone’s neck. And since baby’s not buying, you’re next in line. Don’t wince. Just shut your eyes and pretend you’re a spaceman eating space food. Mmm mmm – lukewarm cauliflower cheese has never felt so intergalactic.

If you’re asking because you accidentally ingested some during the ‘look daddy’s eating num num’ short play you need to perform before your kid even contemplates his or her mouth, then the answer is don’t panic, but it’s essential you see a doctor within the next 24 hours. I’m just kidding. Obviously, the answer is yes, it’s fine. Also, please get a grip.

If you’re asking because you’ve seen how fast your baby is growing and reckon his snacks might help you build muscle, the answer is no. Shove some chicken in your gob and stop being ridiculous.

And if you’re asking because there’s only one jar of creamed carrots and potatoes left and you fancy a snack, then what is the world coming to? Of course you eat it. You wolf it down your neck like there’s no tomorrow and then… hot foot it down the shops to replenish the stocks before your wife, parents, in-laws, health visitor, neighbour or GP find out what you’ve done.

6 comments on “Dear Father Hood: is it okay to eat baby’s food?

  1. […] WILL FEEL LEFT OUT Why are they laughing? What’s he having for lunch? Did he drink his milk? Is he asleep yet? Is he getting the cookies in the jar? Was it wee or poo? […]

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  2. […] the bad news. During the opening few months of fatherhood you will go to the gym less, you will eat more crap, you will sleep infrequently and you will not have the time to shave that little cluster of hair […]

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  3. […] think this is disgusting. I’m not one of them, but I couldn’t come to terms with eating my baby, so began to look at other options. Baby nail clippers were purchased but, due to difficulty of […]

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  4. […] the end. Also, there is currently no cafe and very limited seating, so it’s probably best to feed your kid or kids before you get here. Guess what? We didn’t. Cue a five-minute meltdown somewhere near […]

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  5. […] to get in. The bad news is the charges ramp up from there. Still, provided you bring something for the baby to eat and don’t get overexcited, you should get away with a total booze and grub spend of under […]

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