The latest entry in my true dad stories series begins in John Lewis, before my son was born. “Always remember to strap your baby in,” implored the sales assistant. “Yes, yes,” I replied. And, in fairness, I had intended to heed her advice until… our son hated his car seat. And I mean hated. Not mild disgust. Or slight annoyance. Ear-splitting, fist-banging hate. And since his car seat was also acting as his pram this meant double trouble.
In the car, I was always vigilant. In the pram, not so much. After all, he was too young to sit up, so what was the worst that could happen? Step forward the JFK Museum in Dallas. An impressive establishment with a slight bump by the back door. Add this to a hefty baby bag hanging off the pram handle and… boom, boom, ker-splat.
The pram overbalanced, and our three-month old baby somersaulted out of his seat and onto the floor. It was horrifying, and he looked so tiny lying on the carpet. Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt, so we quickly scooped him up, hugged him close and kissed him better, but it wasn’t fast enough to a) prevent tears, b) stop people staring at us and c) avert several people jumping us in the queue.
The moral of this most harrowing of true dad stories? The JFK Museum is so good it’s worth bundling past a stricken baby to get in quicker. Only joking. It’s always remember to strap baby in.
Goodbye, until the next entry in my hilarious series of true dad stories…