Blaze, Noddy, Paw Patrol

What did you do this morning? Actually, don’t answer that. I’m only asking, so I can tell you that my son and I spent the period between 6.30am and 7.30am doing the same thing we always do. Which is… Continue reading “Blaze, Noddy, Paw Patrol”


Parenting satire: couple sells house to pay for the family summer holiday

A British couple have taken the extraordinary step of selling their house to pay for their next family summer holiday. John and Jane Jamieson decided to put their three-bedroom semi-detached property on the market after researching the cost of a two-week break in Majorca during next year’s school summer holidays. Continue reading “Parenting satire: couple sells house to pay for the family summer holiday”

If Toddlers Could Text: I’m Sorry, I won’t Do It Again

Remember my hilarious ‘If Babies Could Text’ series? Well, it has had a rebrand to reflect my son’s age and is now called ‘If Toddlers Could Text’ (see what I did there?). The first of the no doubt many toddler text messages I’m going to share with you is above. Enjoy.

Parenting satire: celebrity decides against writing children’s book

A celebrity who has recently become a parent has used his Twitter feed to announce that he has no intention of writing a children’s book. The shock revelation, which began trending at around 4.45pm last night, sparked rumours that Continue reading “Parenting satire: celebrity decides against writing children’s book”

Daddy life: 5 reasons why being a dad gets easier as your kid gets older

A new dad walks into a baby class. The mums start talking about their difficult labours and breastfeeding horrors. The dad has nothing to add. The class ends. The mums go for coffee. The dad goes home. Continue reading “Daddy life: 5 reasons why being a dad gets easier as your kid gets older”

New nursery rhyme: give the kid a phone

Oops, I did it again. I played with your heart, got lost in the game. No wait. That’s not what happened at all. In reality, I simply woke up this morning with another fantastic new nursery rhyme in my head. It’s about kids and phones, it’s designed to be sung to the tune of ‘This Old Man’ and it is printed above. Enjoy.

How much do children cost?

Boy did you pick the right week to ask this question. I say this because I’ve just looked and Tesco has a sale on. I’m kidding. I actually say it because, after reading this article on soaring nursery fees, I’ve been doing quite a lot research into the cost of raising a child. Continue reading “How much do children cost?”

What are the best websites for dads?

Mumsnet. Netmums. Mother & Baby. Coming up with a list of great websites that are predominantly aimed at supporting mums is easy. But what about websites for dads? Where can parents with a Y chromosome go to find peer advice, some much needed escapism or a virtual hug? Continue reading “What are the best websites for dads?”

Is it okay to lie to your children?

Ooh, I like this question. It’s relevant to all parents. It’s potentially controversial. And, best of all, there is a really obvious answer. Which is: lying to your children is 100%, completely and utterly, not okay. Job done. Question answered. Case closed. Post published. Pulitzer almost definitely in the post. Continue reading “Is it okay to lie to your children?”